Got a friend or sister who is in the midst of planning their wedding? Been chosen as maid of honour? Excited yet nervous about helping plan her big day? Yep, it’s a stressful job, that is why we have asked Leah Cagwin from Southern Bride & Groom to share her top tips on how to be a good maid of honour. From the engagement, during the planning and to the big day…
Being someone’s maid of honour is one of the most exciting and emotional privileges you will ever face as a woman; it means you are close enough to someone that they trust you to help organise the most important day of their life.
A maid of honour is usually a best friend, sister or relative (someone who knows her as well as you know yourself) this role is a credit to your relationship with the bride, and therefore you should take every step possible to ensure it is the most amazing day of her life.
So what do you need to know now you have been asked to be the maid of honour?
Right after the engagement…
Enjoy this time! Being a maid of honour can be incredibly stressful, and very time-consuming, but the bride chose you for a reason. You’re her best friend, her sister. She’ll call you in the early hours of the morning freaking out. She’ll question her choices of colours, dress, and hors d’oeuvres…know this, and assure her that you’re there for her. She wanted to share this time with you, specifically, so keep calm and try to sit back and enjoy the ride!
During the planning…
- Lead the bridesmaids. The bride has a lot on her plate, and she knows you do, too, but take charge. Once the bride has chosen a style for the bridesmaids gowns, make sure the other bridesmaids don’t wait too long to order their dress, and that they get properly measured (bridesmaid dress sizes are NOT the same as street sizes!).
- Plan a memorable bachelorette party. Listen to her – if she wants a low-key girls weekend, plan a low-key girls weekend! Incorporate things she loves – like a spa day, or a classy brunch.
- Plan a fun bridal shower. Keep the day light-hearted, and don’t let it drag on too long. Incorporate a silly bridal game or two, and keep track of the gifts and who they’re from when the bride starts opening presents.
On the wedding day…
- Carry a clutch. The bride won’t, so it’s up to you to tote around tissues and extra lip gloss.
- Be attentive. It’s your job to ensure the bride looks her best throughout the wedding day, be it fixing her train at the altar, or telling her she has lipstick on her teeth (subtly, of course!)
- Keep her smiling. It’s her wedding day, so of course she’ll be happy, but she’ll also be anxious and maybe have a little case of the wedding day jitters. Talk to her, be the best friend that you are, and she’ll immediately relax.
- Make sure she eats. While you’re getting ready, make sure she snacks on a little something, and at dinner, when she’s rushing around trying to say hello to each and every guest, try to encourage her to sit down and eat some of the delicious food she picked out!
For more stunning tips and advice visit his website Wedding Chaplain.
- You are there to lend assistance to the bride so it’s not about you. There is a lot going on and you are key to being the one who can run interference for her.
- Make sure the bride keeps her energy up. Often with all the excitement, they forget to eat and drink enough fluids.
- Have a glass of wine with the bride. It helps calm the nerves and allows you to have a bit of a good time. Make sure it is white wine.
- Tell the bride she looks beautiful – often. She wants to look her best and needs that confirmed.
- Unplanned things are just memorable events to be remembered. Things will go not completely as planned. Go with the flow instead of stressing out. These are things that memories are made of.
- Laugh. It is a great way to relieve stress. This is an important time. But it is also a time of pure joy.
- Hold your flowers at your belly button coming down the aisle. It keeps them in the right place.
- Look up coming down the aisle. Your picture is being taken. You want a picture of you looking radiant as well. Not looking down in front of you. Enjoy the moment.
- Cry with her. These are tears of joy.
Caitlin Kenney, the founder and editor of Ultimate Bridesmaid, has provided us with tips and advice on being the perfect maid of honour. Ultimate Bridesmaid is a blog dedicated to helping bridesmaids with every aspect of their duties, from bridal shower inspiration to wedding-day duties and more.
Maid of honour roles can vary widely, from a sort of “chief bridesmaid” position to “assistant wedding planner,” all depending on what the bride needs and the type of friendship you have. A DIY bride may need a lot of help addressing envelopes or creating table centerpieces, while another bride may hire vendors to take care of the details and just need you for advice. No matter what, the MOH’s number one job is to be there to support the bride. This can take the form of simple reassuring phone conversations as the bride frets over writing her vows to helping the bride select flowers or accompanying her to cake tastings.
5 top tips for a maid of honour:
1 .It’s critical that the maid of honour never becomes a source of stress to the bride. Bring positive energy to everything you do together.
2. When planning the bachelorette party or bridal shower, try to pick a theme that means something to the bride and matches her personal style—not every bachelorette party has to channel Girls Gone Wild!
3. Collect bridesmaid contact info before the big day so you’ll be ready to track down tardy bridesmaids or call for missing hair spray.
4. Remember to relax. At least you’re not planning a wedding, right?
What do you need to do on the big day?
On the day of the wedding, the maid of honour can act as the point person for all the other bridesmaids. Once the bride is dressed, you’re also in charge of making sure her look stays perfect throughout the photographs and the ceremony. The MOH carries the bride’s bouquet and the train of her dress and steps in to adjust her hair or a slipping strap during photographs. During the ceremony, make sure her train (if she has one) is nicely arranged behind her, and then hold her bouquet as she says her vows. After the ceremony, the maid of honour and best man traditionally sign the marriage certificate. Your final duty is to toast the couple at the reception. Focus on their story and wishing them well in their new life together.
Conclusion:To be the perfect maid of Honour…. You need to know how to be organised, but mainly you need to know how to be considerate and have fun with your best friend. Take a deep breath every once in a while – the bride chose you.
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